Happy relationships are hard to create and maintain, but they are the most rewarding thing we can have in our lives. They are better than power and money because they give us something those things can’t give us, support, companionship, and value. It takes some real understanding of what makes relationships healthy and happy to be successful at it.
Unfortunately, we are not all born with a natural instinct on how to make the most out of our relationships, but, with practice, and in hindsight, things get much clearer. Following are some relationship quotes that have come from people who have had that practice or experience to understand a few things about relationships and what is healthy or not.
1. It’s Not Always Better To Be In A Relationship
Phil McGraw has seen his share of unhealthy relationships, so he has a pretty good insight into this simple truth. Being in an unhealthy relationship can actually make you sick, just as being in a healthy relationship can make you stronger. The fights, stress, and worry that comes from constantly feeling unhappy does a number on your health and, in that case, it really is better to be healthy alone.
This is one of the relationship quotes that can benefit all the single people out there who think that any relationship would be better than being single. It wouldn’t. If you can choose to see being single as healthier than being in an unhealthy relationship, then you can change your perception on being single and what it really means for you.
2. What Is Passionate Love All About?
In all your relationships where love is present, remember this quote from Mother Teresa. When you love someone intensely, you don’t measure what they do or say and adjust your love to them; instead, you act from a place in your heart that wants them to be happy and fulfilled. Moreover, you don’t measure what you do or say to them and then base how loving you are off that. You do what you need to do without a ruler on hand, and you do it until it is done or feels right. Do you understand the power of this quote? When you can just love without expectations, every relationship becomes so much better.
3. You Have To Leave The Past Behind
Steve Wilkos is a talk show host who commonly has to deal with some of the worst relationships. People cheating. People beating each other up. People being mean, rude, and condescending. He deals with relationships that are extremely unhealthy on his show, and he has a good sense of what they need to do to move forward in a healthy way – if they should move forward at all. This quote was taken from Steve telling a man who had just found out that his wife hadn’t cheated, despite something he thought he saw. Steve told him that if they were going to move forward into a happy relationship, he had to stop bringing up the trespass that he believed she had done.
That’s great relationship advice! If you keep harping on the same old things over and over again, you get stuck. You can’t move forward and develop healthier views towards each other or habits with each other because you are still reliving something that happened – or in this case, didn’t happen! If you choose to stay in your relationships – any relationship, then you have to let go of the negative past or you will never be happy.
4. Here’s The Difference Between Mature Love And Immature Love
As teenagers and even in our early twenties, we are stuck in an immature love state. We want everyone else to do for us, and we view our relationships from a needy view rather than a loving view. I think anyone who has ever lost their grandparent or parent or someone else at a young age when they were stuck in that mindset has come to this realization when they matured and realized that love creates the need, not the other way around.
If you don’t look at someone and need them because you love them, then you need to re-evaluate how you view love. Yes, maturity happens with experience that gives you the wisdom to see the truth behind certain things, but, reflection also does that. So reflect on what love really is, and if you feel needy towards the people in your life, more than you feel a genuine bond of love, then try flipping the script.
5. Don’t You Want To Live In A Beautiful Garden?
Oscar Wilde was talking about love. All the people who have experienced a lack of love, know that this is true. This is why you always need to allow room for love in your heart. Don’t shut yourself off to it. Don’t stop looking for it. Don’t stop accepting it into your life. Make love the focal point of your life, and life will feel like a beautiful garden full of vibrant flowers instead of the dreaded alternative.
6. Your Relationships Have Been About Many Things
Don’t define your relationships by the last encounter you had with someone. It’s important to remember that people go through ups and downs, and so do relationships. Just because you don’t see eye-to-eye today does not mean you should judge someone solely on that experience. It’s easy to do, but you should do it.
For now on, when you get upset with someone, or when you just want a clearer picture of what someone means to you, look at the big picture. Remember all the things they’ve done for you and all the great memories you have. Remember the moments where you loved them or felt joy that they were in your life. Reflect on the relationship as a whole, and you will see things in a much different light.
7. Always Look For And Let Love In
A friend of mine runs a relationship blog, and many single people tell him that they have closed themselves off to love forever. It hurts them too much they say and they are not willing to risk feeling any more pain by letting love into their life. What a mistake they are making! Barbara de Angelis is a relationship consultant, and I imagine that she hears that faulty declaration quite a bit too.
The scary truth is that if you close yourself off to love, you are always going to lose out. You will lose out on some insight into yourself and your life. You will lose out on the chance to be happy and experience some amazing moments where your ‘garden’ is lit up and full of flowers. Closing yourself off to love will keep you in a state of anger, resentment, and unhappiness, which is worse than experiencing love and some pain once in a while.
8. The Best Way To Ruin A Relationship Is…
I grew up with the saying that if you ‘assume’ you make an ass out of u and me. This is really the basis of assumptions in a relationship. You are rarely right because you are just projecting your beliefs on someone else and not actually seeing things from their point of view.
Assuming things includes:
– Thinking you know what other people meant when they said something.
– Thinking you know what someone else’s actions meant.
– Thinking you know how someone is going to act or react.
All of these things will eat away at your relationship and cause you to be angry or frustrated, and it all stems from your inability to communicate and find out the truth. If you assume long enough, like Henry Winkler said, those assumptions will eventually eat away the structure of your relationship and it will fall apart.
9. Value The People You Can Share Your Life With
What is one thing about relationships that we all cherish? The ability share our excitements, letdowns, surprises, worries, and joy. We all want people to understand that something has happened to us. We instinctively try to make sure of it! And, when we have someone to do that with, that need is filled over and over again.
Cherish your relationships for this reason. Recognize how powerful it is to talk to someone and share the things that matter most to you with them. And, if you don’t have someone to do that with, then it’s time you found them. It’s one of the ultimate rewards of a relationship.
10. You Should Like The People You Love
The basis of an unhealthy relationship is not liking each other. When you don’t like the person you are with, it doesn’t matter how much history you have or how much love you have shared, your relationship is going to cause more strain than benefit to your life.
A friend of mine is in a relationship where she doesn’t like her husband and he doesn’t like her. They have nothing in common. They fight about each other’s way of doing things and can’t get on the same page. They have different qualities that they identify with. And, then would rather spend time apart than together. They don’t like each other, and their relationship is horrible because of it. He’s cheating on her and she’s turned into a pile of mush who thinks she can’t do any better with her life. When you dislike each other, bad things happen.
In other words, if you are in a relationship where you’ve had the lust or the love, but no longer have the like, then it’s time to get out. That’s not a relationship. That’s a waste of time that you could be spending with someone you actually like!
11. Keep Your Bonds Flexible
This is one of the most unique relationship quotes I found, and one of the truest! If you want a relationship to last the test of time, then you need to let go of being rigid in the relationship and, instead, create a flexible bond that goes with the flow, but never breaks.
I have a friend who I’ve been friends with since we were in kindergarten. We grew up with different beliefs, we went on wildly different paths in life, but we always let our bond be like elastic – accepting each other, not getting too rigid with each other, and not letting go of the relationship we have, and that has kept us friends, while everyone else has gone away.
12. Your Relationship Is Like A Shark?
Considering that Woody Allen has been divorced twice and married three times, I think he has some insight into what can go wrong in a relationship. And this quote just shows why his third marriage has likely lasted so long.
Relationships grow or fall apart, but they never stay the same. That’s because people and circumstances change, which means the relationship dynamics need to change too. That requires work. It requires going with the flow, adapting to new things, and working together to move forward happy and fulfilled. When you can both do that, you can keep any relationship moving forward and avoid watching it sink.
13. Keep The Light Shining On Each Other
Another part about maturing in love is learning this little lesson. Recognizing that love is about two separate people with two separate paths in life is important to have a healthy relationship. Why? Because it is important to have two healthy individuals contributing to the relationship!
If you are smothering each other, then neither one of you can do what you need to do to be fulfilled and happy in life, and you can’t carry that happiness and fulfillment into your relationship. All you can do is stop growing outside of the relationship and get stuck in a state of being obsessed with each other or dependent on each other, which drains your confidence and affects you negatively.
14. Intimate Relationships Are Hard
Intimate relationships are tough. It’s hard to say hard things. It’s hard to compromise and work together. It’s hard to move through hurt or pain and forgive.
Joan Baez is a songwriter who often sings about social justice, and that obviously bonds her with the people who believe in what she is singing about. It’s easy to get along with a bunch of people that you don’t have to relate to on an intimate level, even if the number is as big as 10,000. But, when everyone else leaves, and you are face-to-face with someone who you are invested in, things get a little tough. (Note: They also get more rewarding!)
15. Those Long-Term Relationships You Have Must Be Pretty Special!
Look at all the people who are still in your life, and then realize how special they must be to you when you think of this quote. It’s much easier to dump someone out of our life than it is to keep them in it. When we get rid of them, we don’t have to talk things through, work on anything, or do anything else that can be hard. The people in your life must be something special if you have been willing to keep them around despite how much easier it would have been to leave them.
16. Do You Want Someone In Your Life For The Wrong Reason?
Yes, Jerry Springer has a crazy talk show with crazy people, but he’s not crazy himself. He’s completely aware of how insane his guests are and what they could do to have better relationships, and this is one of the relationship quotes he gave at the end of his show to try to add some sane advice into some people’s lives who needed to hear it.
Apply his advice to your life too! If you want someone in your life, and you are doing everything in your power to steal them away from someone else, then you are doing it for the wrong reason. Maybe your ego needs some recognition, or maybe you have put yourself in a contest where you want to be better than someone else and ‘win’ the person and the relationship, but it is most definitely for a bad reason.
A relationship is not about trying to get what someone else has or make somebody inaccessible to everyone else. It is about having a bond, supporting each other, and being of value to each other. Make sure all your relationships are for the right reasons.
17. Here’s A Tip On How To Avoid Being Lonely
We talked about how important it is to like the people you love, and this relationship quote adds a whole new level to the importance. Relationships are supposed to help us feel less alone in the world. Right? And they do have the ability to do that! If you like you and the people in your life, then you will never be lonely. Alternatively, if you don’t like yourself or the people in your life, then you will always be lonely.
Liking others has everything to do with avoiding judgment, finding commonalities, interacting properly, and sharing experiences. Liking yourself has everything to do with being your best and most authentic self at all times and following a moral code that makes you feel good at the end of the day.
18. Are You Always Unsure In Your Relationships?
Ask any relationship expert what you absolutely need in a healthy relationship, and they will tell you trust. How much trust do you have in your relationships? Are you suspicious of everyone? Do you feel like they are never being upfront with you? If that’s the case, then you need to work on the trust in your relationships if you want to make sure that they stand the test of time.
Trust is a fundamental element of relationships because the opposite of trust – doubt, will cause you to do ridiculous things, such as blame, argue, and hide things from the people in your life. Doing those things eats away at the bond you have with them. Eventually, that doubt will break the bond completely. It will be too hard for you to trust them and too hard for them to try to prove themselves to you.
19. Don’t Settle For Just Anyone In Your Life
Alexandra Redcay said this relationship quote on a TED talk on how to select the right relationship. I think that many people don’t give this much consideration when they are entering into a new relationship. They feel like they can work through any obvious big issues, but, in hindsight, it becomes apparent that the big things are very hard to work through.
The best way to get into a bad relationship is to hope that they like you without giving any consideration to whether you like them. It’s important to figure out what you need from a relationship and then make sure that you pick people in your life that match those needs. You only have so much time to spend with other people, so why waste it with people who don’t give you what you need out of a relationship?
20. You ARE Worthy Of Love
This is one of those relationship quotes that has a few meanings. In fact, it has a few very important meanings to remember.
First, you are worthy of being loved and of belonging. If you are not treated with love and don’t feel a sense of belonging, then you are not being treated with the attention or respect that you deserve. It’s important that you demand that attention and respect in your relationships and teach people that it is not OK to treat you with a lack of it. That will help you get into and maintain healthier relationships.
Second, don’t tell yourself that you are not worthy of love or fitting in with people, because you are! Cut out that negative self-talk and remind yourself that you are full of goodness and have a lot to offer other people. You are valuable to other people. You are important to other people. Always remind yourself of that so you can stay open to beneficial relationships.
21. Ask Yourself Some Important Relationship Questions
Tracy McMillan is a relationship expert, and she says these four questions are important to ask when your relationship is not working. Many of us are used to asking questions about the other person, such as ‘Why can’t they do this?’ or ‘Why do they behave the way they do?’ But, these questions take things inward and help you look at your relationship with someone in a completely different way.
When you can answer these 4 questions, you will figure out your part in why the relationship is not working, what you should be learning from the relationship issue so that you can move forward better, what your limiting beliefs are in the relationship, and what you can do to make things better. And when you have that information, you can get started on making things awesome.
For example, you may find that you are allowing someone to walk all over you and that you need to value your self-worth more. You may be having this problem because you need to learn that you are stronger than you think you are, even though you have the limiting belief that you are weak. And, you may decide that you have to stand up for yourself once and for all. When you do, your relationship will change in one way or the other. Either it will improve or it will end, but either way, you won’t be stuck in a relationship that isn’t working anymore!
22. Here’s How To Stop Being Mistreated In Relationships
In Iyanla’s work, she often comes across unhealthy relationships. She has many relationship quotes that are powerful reminders of how to create and maintain healthy relationships, but I really like this one. Not many people think about setting boundaries in their life, but it is an important thing to do for your relationship happiness. Boundaries tell other people what you will or will not take from them. They teach other people how they can treat you. They help you maintain happiness in your relationship because you are not putting up with things that stress you out or make you upset.
Boundaries can include:
– Not allowing other people to talk down to you.
– Not allowing other people to abuse you.
– How much time you are willing to spend with other people, and letting people know when you value your alone time.
– What people can and cannot share with others about your life. (Very important in social media!)
– What you are willing to do for other people.
When you check in with yourself, your needs, your feelings, and your goals, you can create some boundaries that help you express what you need from your relationships and what you will not put up with. Then, you will not have to worry about people violating you and getting away with it.
23. You Shouldn’t Have To Be Fake In Relationships
If you find yourself having to be someone you are not in your relationships, then you need to re-examine those relationships. If you feel you have to be someone else in order to gain respect or love from someone, then that is not a real relationship. They don’t know the real you. They don’t get to see the true version of you. In reality, they are more like strangers than they are someone you are in a relationship with. Think about that!
If you are being fake in a relationship, then this is a huge indicator that you have not embraced yourself for who you are around that person, and that will lead to many problems that affect more than just your relationship. It will cause you to avoid going after your dreams and avoid doing things that actually make you feel good when you are around them. Moreover, you will not be able to live in a way that feels authentic to you, which will be stressful and make you unhappy.
The bottom line is that you shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone you are not in your relationships, including the relationship with yourself. Be authentic and you will enjoy your relationships and your life much more.
24. Relationships Matter The Most
Older people can teach us what matters most in life, and from William Shatner to every grandparent in the world, strong relationships will fall at the top of that list. Relationships provide meaning to your life in a way that nothing else can do, so it’s important to make them an important part of your life.
In other words, if you are faced with a decision where you need to tend to a relationship or go to work (or do anything else that doesn’t involve your relationship), then make sure that you tend to your relationship! While work is very important, losing your relationship would hurt much more than losing your job. And while your favorite TV show may be something you want to watch, listening to a person who needs you to listen will be much more rewarding to your life. Your relationship with others and yourself always should be what comes first in life.
25. Take Part In Others’ Experiences
Relationship quotes can help you create a better relationship or a better life, and this one is definitely one that does both. When you understand that your life is enriched by paying attention to and being involved in other people’s experiences, you can create stronger relationships and a happier life.
By paying attention to others’ experiences and seeing how it affects them and changes their life, you can use that information in your own life to make it better. It’s how you learn. It’s how you grow! You see new things and then you apply them to your life.
We also become more compassionate when we take part in other people’s experiences. We stop judging and we start observing. It’s the best way to understand why other people do what they do in life.
Lastly, by sharing others’ experiences, your bond becomes stronger with them. Going through the ups and downs with them helps them feel supported and loved, and you feel needed and valued.
Therefore, think outside of yourself often. Look past your life and into the lives of the people around you. See things from their point of view. Watch them as they go through experiences and react to them. Be a part of THEIR life for a while. Do that, and your whole life will change!
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